SO, HOW DID YOU BREAK YOUR ARM?
Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the slopes as written by a New Orleans paper: A friend just got back from a holiday skiing trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart.
Conditions were perfect.. .12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over...the "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.
One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a rest room. He told her not to worry that he was sure there was relief waiting at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below doesn't help matters.
With time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all-white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods and no one would even notice.
He assured her, "The white will provide more than adequate camouflage."
So she headed for the tree line, began lowering her ski pants and proceeded to do her thing.
If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is a right way and wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.
Yup, you got it!
She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not forgiving, even during the most embarrassing moments. Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out-of-control, racing through the trees, somehow missing all of them and onto another slope. Her derriere and the reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her knees, and she was picking up speed all the while.
She continued backwards, totally out-of-control, creating an unusual vista for the other skiers. The woman skied back under the lift and finally collided violently with a pylon. The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski pants. At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then summoned the ski patrol. They
transported her to a hospital.
While in the emergency room, a man with an obviously broken leg was put in the bed next to hers. "So, how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.
"It was the stupidest thing you ever saw," he said. "I was riding up this ski lift and suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes! There was this crazy woman skiing backward, out-of-control, down the mountain, with her bare bottom hanging out of her pants. I leaned over to get a better look and fell out of the lift." "So, how'd you break your arm?"
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
1960
In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared.
Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.
He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.
Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.
If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.
The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck.
The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whomever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job.
Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.
An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.
I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.
That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money--fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.
The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air o n the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.
One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered.
I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.
I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.
On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe.
A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.
When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat.
Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole>case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries.
There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was hole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items.
And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.
As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.
Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....
THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:
1. "Yes!"
2. "Not yet."
3. "I have something better in mind."
God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar. You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.
Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.
He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.
Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either.
If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.
The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck.
The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whomever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job.
Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.
An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.
I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.
That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money--fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage.
The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air o n the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.
One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana ? I wondered.
I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.
I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.
On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe.
A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.
When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat.
Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole>case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries.
There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was hole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items.
And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.
As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.
Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop....
THE POWER OF PRAYER. I believe that God only gives three answers to prayer:
1. "Yes!"
2. "Not yet."
3. "I have something better in mind."
God still sits on the throne, the devil is a liar. You maybe going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that you cannot imagine.
Monday, January 22, 2007
I promise...
I promise you my love
I promise you my heart
I promise you my life
I promise we'll never be apart
I promise not to hurt you
I promise to never make you cry
I promise to always trust you
I promise not to lie
I promise you forever
I promise you tonight
I promise you my respect
I promise to do things right
I promise to always be there
I promise until the end
I promise to always love you
I promise to be your best friend
I promise you my love
I promise you my life
I promise this forever
I promise our friendship is my life
8888888888888888888888888888
8888888888888888888888888888
8888888888888888888888888888
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
8888888888888888888888888888
8888888888888888888888888888
8888888888888888888888888888
______8888888888____________________
____888888888888888_________________
__888888822222228888________________
_88888822222222288888_______________
888888222222222228888822228888______
888882222222222222288222222222888___
8888822222222222222222222222222288__
_8888822222222222222222222222222_88_
__88888222222222222222222222222__888
___888822222222222222222222222___888
____8888222222222222222222222____888
_____8888222222222222222222_____888_
______8882222222222222222_____8888__
_______888822222222222______888888__
________8888882222______88888888____
_________888888_____888888888_______
__________88888888888888____________
___________8888888888_______________
____________8888888__________________
_____________88888___________________
______________888____________________
_______________8_____________________
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
_8888888__________88888888_
__8888888888888888888888__
____8888888888888888888____
______8888888888888888_
I promise you my heart
I promise you my life
I promise we'll never be apart
I promise not to hurt you
I promise to never make you cry
I promise to always trust you
I promise not to lie
I promise you forever
I promise you tonight
I promise you my respect
I promise to do things right
I promise to always be there
I promise until the end
I promise to always love you
I promise to be your best friend
I promise you my love
I promise you my life
I promise this forever
I promise our friendship is my life
8888888888888888888888888888
8888888888888888888888888888
8888888888888888888888888888
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
___________8888888_____________
8888888888888888888888888888
8888888888888888888888888888
8888888888888888888888888888
______8888888888____________________
____888888888888888_________________
__888888822222228888________________
_88888822222222288888_______________
888888222222222228888822228888______
888882222222222222288222222222888___
8888822222222222222222222222222288__
_8888822222222222222222222222222_88_
__88888222222222222222222222222__888
___888822222222222222222222222___888
____8888222222222222222222222____888
_____8888222222222222222222_____888_
______8882222222222222222_____8888__
_______888822222222222______888888__
________8888882222______88888888____
_________888888_____888888888_______
__________88888888888888____________
___________8888888888_______________
____________8888888__________________
_____________88888___________________
______________888____________________
_______________8_____________________
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
8888888____________8888888
_8888888__________88888888_
__8888888888888888888888__
____8888888888888888888____
______8888888888888888_
Love Passage for Kids...
If I can speak beautifully and can sing like an angel, but
don't love others, I sound like a child banging on a piano or a
screeching radio.
Love will stand in line and wait its turn.
Love looks for the good in others.
Love doesn't always want=ant what others have, and it doesn't
brag about what it does have.
Love is polite, even when the other person is rude.
Love doesn't always have to be first.
Love doesn't get angry over the small things, and it
doesn't remember one reason after another to be hurt.
Love isn't happy when someone else fails but is happy with
the truth.
Love will always protect others, especially those who
are often picked on or teased.
Love always believes the best about others and is steady and true.
Love never gives up. Preaching will stop someday. So will
speeches. Knowledge will come to an end. Today we only
know part of what there is to know. We can preach and speak
only with a small part of understanding, but when perfection comes then what is imperfect will go away.
I am now young, and so I talk and think and speak like a
child. When I become an adult I will put childish ways behind
me. Now we see only a poor reflection, like in a mirror, then
we will see face-to-face. Now I only know part of what there is
to know; then I will know fully and will be fully known.
And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
don't love others, I sound like a child banging on a piano or a
screeching radio.
Love will stand in line and wait its turn.
Love looks for the good in others.
Love doesn't always want=ant what others have, and it doesn't
brag about what it does have.
Love is polite, even when the other person is rude.
Love doesn't always have to be first.
Love doesn't get angry over the small things, and it
doesn't remember one reason after another to be hurt.
Love isn't happy when someone else fails but is happy with
the truth.
Love will always protect others, especially those who
are often picked on or teased.
Love always believes the best about others and is steady and true.
Love never gives up. Preaching will stop someday. So will
speeches. Knowledge will come to an end. Today we only
know part of what there is to know. We can preach and speak
only with a small part of understanding, but when perfection comes then what is imperfect will go away.
I am now young, and so I talk and think and speak like a
child. When I become an adult I will put childish ways behind
me. Now we see only a poor reflection, like in a mirror, then
we will see face-to-face. Now I only know part of what there is
to know; then I will know fully and will be fully known.
And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
The 12 Disciples
During Jesus' life on earth
he called twelve special men.
When he said, "come follow me."
they did so there and then.
Invited first to join the group,
Simon Peter came.
Peter's brother followed too---
Andrew was his name.
Several more were called by Jesus
near the Galilean lake.
James and John gave up their nets,
just for Jesus' sake.
Crowds that followed Jesus knew
Philip and Thomas too.
But Thomas had doubts about Jesus
(more than just a few.)
In the group was Matthew,
who wrote of Jesus' life.
His book tells many great stories---
the love, teachings and strife.
Pleased to be a disciple,
James joined the throng.
Thaddeus and Simon
also came along.
Later the one called Judas
would betray his master's name.
Bartholomew (called Nathanael)
was another one who came.
Each of the disciples
went out in the world to preach.
To tell the message of Jesus
to every soul they could reach.
Since we're saved by Jesus,
we must follow too:
So listen to Jesus calling---
calling me and you.
he called twelve special men.
When he said, "come follow me."
they did so there and then.
Invited first to join the group,
Simon Peter came.
Peter's brother followed too---
Andrew was his name.
Several more were called by Jesus
near the Galilean lake.
James and John gave up their nets,
just for Jesus' sake.
Crowds that followed Jesus knew
Philip and Thomas too.
But Thomas had doubts about Jesus
(more than just a few.)
In the group was Matthew,
who wrote of Jesus' life.
His book tells many great stories---
the love, teachings and strife.
Pleased to be a disciple,
James joined the throng.
Thaddeus and Simon
also came along.
Later the one called Judas
would betray his master's name.
Bartholomew (called Nathanael)
was another one who came.
Each of the disciples
went out in the world to preach.
To tell the message of Jesus
to every soul they could reach.
Since we're saved by Jesus,
we must follow too:
So listen to Jesus calling---
calling me and you.
I'm back!
Hi everyone!
I'm back! My dad's computer is back home from the repair shop. I can now use this computer that doesn't block blogger as mch as I want! (Until my dad gets home)!!
I have a lot of school to do but first let me show you a picture of my new violin.
cya! Lyssa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)